Month: March 2018

News

Report: Sister Jean negotiating deal with Golden State Warriors

(SP) – Sister Jean Dolores-Schmidt, the 98-year-old nun who acts as the chaplain for the Loyola University Chicago Ramblers, is reportedly close to finalizing a long-term deal to take her services to the Golden State Warriors. “Obviously anytime you can add someone who can bring a high-level of wisdom and guidance and support to your team, […]

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News

UMBC sees spike in applications among total morons who only hear of universities through sports success

(SP) – Thanks to its historic victory over a No. 1 seed in the 1st Round of the NCAA Tournament, the University of Maryland, Baltimore County has seen a massive uptick in the number of student applications in recent days, giving the school the opportunity to pick the best and brightest from among a crop […]

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News

Kirk Cousins: “I just feel blessed to have received a long-term deal before everyone figured out I’m not that good”

(SP) – New Minnesota Vikings quarterback Kirk Cousins said today that he feels “immensely blessed and fortunate” to have finally received a long-term, big money deal in the NFL. “This has been a race against the clock now for several years,” said a visibly relieved Cousins after officially signing a three-year, $84 million contract with […]

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News

Bracket of Completely Random Things That Aren’t Related in Any Way: Nose Hair Region, Round 1

Thanks to a random decision with no thought put into it at all, all of this year’s random things will be voted for on Twitter. Here is the 1st Round of the first region. Three more regions to come … 1 – the abbreviation SZN vs. 16 – webbed toes Bracket of Completely Random Things […]

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News

Join the 2018 SportsPickle FAIL Bracket Challenge and WIN and (unsigned) Rick Pitino book!

The SportsPickle FAIL Bracket Challenge is back for the 2018 Tournament. Remember: the WORST bracket WINS.  (And you must actually fill out your bracket in order to be eligible.) Again: the worst bracket wins. Here is a quick Q-and-A about the FAIL Bracket Challenge … Q: What does the worst bracket do?  A: It wins. […]

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News

Teddy Bridgewater announces retirement: “I didn’t do all this rehab to play for the Jets”

(SP) – Free agent NFL quarterback Teddy Bridgewater announced his retirement today, saying his is unwilling to continue his career under the threat of playing for the New York Jets. “I’ve worked my ass off for almost two full years to get back able to play,” Bridgewater said today, announcing his decision. “At no point […]

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